Rejection is a nine-letter word that all writers dread. We spend months, sometimes years, perfecting a manuscript. Then, comes the hard part. From deep within our beings we draw out enough courage to submit our "love child" to a publisher or editor. We've followed all the rules, our manuscript is as error free as we can make it, a self-addressed, stamped envelope is enclosed in our manila envelope. The proper person is addressed in our cover letter, pertinent clips are included in the package. Success must be just around the corner. NOT.
No feeling exists quite like that a writer experiences when he takes a SASE from his post box and realizes it is another rejection. This is a major depression point in the writer's life. Pain cuts to the bone when the editor's note is a smudged Xerox copy of a form letter. No suggestions for improvement, no reason given for rejection, nothing but-- "Sorry, this is not for XYZ House."
The pain of rejection need not turn into the agony of defeat. Of course, you hurt. That's only natural. Why then do so many writers turn their pain inward? Why do they allow themselves to crawl inside their own hearts and hide their grief? I've done it. I bet you have too. The main objective here, is how do we recover from our fear of total failure that rejection brings.
To come back from yet another rejection, we must first recognize our own pain, anger, frustration, or whatever negative response our mind throws out. We must allow ourselves grieving time. Most negative emotions stem from hidden fears. We fear our manuscript will be rejected, we fear our words are not as good as some other writer's, we fear we simply don't have what it takes to be a real writer. Once we are through eating this can of poison worms, we're ready to begin again. Just don't stay at it too long or you may never recover. We aren't the first ones to walk this lonely valley and we won't be the last.
For every "overnight success," there are a hundred writers who have worked for years in obscurity until, at last, success smiled on them. For example, are you aware that Pat Conroy, author of The Prince of Tides and Beach Music gave up trying to find a publisher for his first novel and self published it? Baby, look at him now!
Then, how about Colleen McCullough? The Thorn Birds" received some 15 or 20 rejections before acceptance came. You remember, "The Thorn Birds" don't you? First it was a best seller for weeks on end. The television mini-series based on this novel drew an audience of millions. What if McCullough had given up, continued to eat her worms of failure, and never tried again?
The list of rejected authors who stayed the course is so long a book, Rotten Rejections, edited by Andre Bernard and published by Pushcart Press, found a wide audience. Just a few of those featured in this work are listed below along with their prospective editors' comments.
Madame Bovary
By Gustave Flaubert
1856
"You have buried your novel underneath a heap of details which are well done but utterly superfluous."
The Diary of Anne Frank
By Anne Frank
1952
"The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception of feeling which would lift this book above the curiosity level."
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold
By John Le Carre
1963
"You're welcome to Le Carre he hasn't any future."
The list of rejected books runs the gamut of authors who are today thought of as not only talented, but as in the case of Flaubert and Le Carre, are considered geniuses.
Recently, I had the pleasure of being a guest online in a writing group with Z. Sharon Glantz and Frank V. Priore. These two successful writers are playwrights. I asked for their comments on how they deal with rejection.
Sharon Glantz said, "We can't do it alone. From being in writers' groups and theater companies, I've gathered folks together who I can count on for unconditional support. When I need cheerleading, I go to them. AND I go to them BEFORE that anchor of anxiety takes hold. As a sideline to this, I've learned to grieve. Whether it is because a play run has ended or a piece has been published or rejection has ensued, I take the time to grieve the loss. It's a natural function of being human and I believe that as humans we underestimate its importance. Ultimately, as we build a strong sense of self-identity and esteem, rejection becomes less of a threat and more a function of the work we do."
Frank Priore, added his thoughts to Sharon's. "If you are a writer, there are two undeniable facts of life (1) Rejection is going to happen, and (2) each time it happens, it is going to hurt and is going to depress you. That being said, let me point out how I've come to grips with it. I have convinced myself that when rejection occurs, most often, the reason is 'not' because your work is not good. There are many, many reasons that an individual piece might be rejected. It may not fit in with an issue's theme; they might just have published or have bought something similar, etc. So, the rejection is not a rejection of you or a sign that your work can no longer be accepted by 'anybody.'"
Kathleen Gerberick, a novelist in the Romance genre says, "Regard rejection as just another step toward attaining your writing goal . . . It takes courage to risk putting your dreams on display and you should recognize this effort as you would any other writing achievement. And don't become so focused on your destination (being published) that you forget to enjoy the journey."
What these fine writers are telling all of us is that we should put down our cans of worms, reclaim the magic, and get on with the business of writing. That's what we do. We are writers but best of all, we are students of writing. We are learning what works and what doesn't work in the world of reality, and we have what it takes to stay the course until the sunshine finds us. Rejection is not the end, it is only the beginning of our journey.
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(Jones is a book critic for The Tulsa World, Tulsa, OK, and The Camden Times, Camden, New York.)
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