by Stephanie Ward, M.A.
We make assumptions when we don't fully understand a situation. It is a
natural reaction to immediately fill in any missing information by making up our
own story. We do this because we like to try to make sense of people and
situations. The problem with this is that most of the time our story is
incorrect which causes all kinds of complications. The fact is, we don't know
what the truth is unless we ask.
As much as we would like to think we know what others are thinking, we simply
can't read minds. Sometimes we think we have the super power to know the reasons
why people do the things they do (without asking them) which is pretty
presumptuous. Remember, not everyone sees the world the same way you do
(shocker, I know, but it is easy to forget).
Need another reason to stop making assumptions? Try turning it around. Do you
believe that other people can read your mind? Would you rather that someone make
up a story (an assumption) about what you are thinking and feeling? Or, would
you prefer that they ask you?
When you ask instead of assume, you may not always get an answer you like or
expect. Still, asking is much better than making up your own story because then
you are in the position to make an informed next step.
Asking questions seems like an easy thing to do so why don't we do it more
often? Why do we sometimes become paralyzed when it comes time to:
- Contact a client to find out why they haven't responded to a phone call
or e-mail?
- Ask a partner if they are satisfied with the way you work together?
- Ask a colleague if they still plan to make that introduction for you
that they promised?
It goes something like this. Let's say you see a prospective client at a
networking event, he sees you too but when you try to approach him for a chat he
leaves abruptly. That is all that happened, you don't know why he had to leave
and yet your mind starts making up a story, an assumption.
You might think he doesn't like you or that he isn't interested in your
business. That may or may not be true but why bother thinking negative thoughts
when you don't really know the reason he left.
If you want to know the reason, ask! You may find out that he just went
outside to put money in a parking meter, that he had a family emergency, or
something else which was not related to you at all.
So how do you do it? When asking questions, do so in a non-judgmental way
with the intention to discover the truth. Stick to the facts and use a neutral
tone when asking questions verbally.
If you're still not convinced, here are seven reasons why you, and your
business, may be suffering because of assumptions. Making assumptions is bad for
business because doing so can:
- Cause unnecessary stress
- Waste time and energy
- Create misunderstandings
- Cause you to miss out on great opportunities
- Lower your confidence and create self-doubt
- Lead you to offer the wrong product/service
- Create obstacles that don't exist
Hopefully it is clear why assumptions are not good for your business and you
are willing to stop making them. Making assumptions isn't good for any
relationship which means you can apply this to your personal life as well. After
all, you do have a life outside of your business right?
My challenge to you is to start paying attention to your thoughts and become
aware of when you are making assumptions and then get into action and ask the
right questions.
Asking questions is simple, and not always easy. Find the courage to do what
may feel difficult and just ask. Ending assumptions is like any skill, it takes
practice. The more you do it the easier it will become!
Copyright 2006
Life & Business Coach Stephanie Ward helps business owners
set their profits on fire! Grab your free monthly profit tips, plus bonus report
at:
http://www.fireflycoaching.com.