1. Give up the belief that you have
to be perfect.
Most people are afraid of public speaking because they fear the
embarrassment of making mistakes in front of others. Anxiety over mistakes only
makes mistakes more likely. Having anxiety could be the biggest mistake of all!
Even professional speakers occasionally make mistakes. The difference is that
they don't consider mistakes major obstacles to success. The secret is to accept
that mistakes are going to happen sometimes, and to develop the ability to
recover from them quickly. Dr. L. Michael Hall, author of Secrets of Personal
Mastery, advises, "Give yourself permission to be gloriously
fallible!"
The way to recover from a mistake is to
observe it dispassionately, take whatever corrective action is appropriate,
regain your composure, focus on what to say next, and get on with it. Dwelling
on an error and feeling bad about it only adds to your confusion. Leave the
mistake behind and move forward.
You can't please everyone in your
audience. Sure-some listeners may think you are a moron for making a mistake.
Some won't even notice it. Others may admire the way you recover so easily. Some
may be relieved to know you are human. Some won't care one way or the other.
Mistakes can provide excellent feedback
for improvement. Mistakes often promote single-trial learning, so it's almost
certain you will never make the same mistake twice. Ask yourself "What is
the worst that can happen if I make a mistake during this speech?" Making a
mistake does not carry a death sentence.
2. Visualize the outcome you want.
People who fear public speaking visualize their upcoming speaking
opportunities as abysmal failures. They see themselves fumbling clumsily with
notes, stammering, becoming mute, turning red, possibly crying, horrifying
audiences with their stupidity, and slinking away to live out the remainder of
their miserable lives in exile, reviled as a social reject. Psychologists call
this method of preparation "negative anticipation."
STOP IT! Each time you engage in this
mental flagellation, shake yourself out of it. Say "STOP" loudly to
yourself. Do anything to get your mind out of the failure trap. Sing, whistle,
recite poetry, walk around the block, or talk to a friend. You can even make
those scary images seem silly and laughable, by imagining your audience in clown
costumes, or seeing your performance in fast motion.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People, author Steven Covey tells his readers to "begin with the end in
mind." Visualize yourself giving that speech the way you want to. If you
anticipate success, you are more likely to get it. Mentally rehearse that you
are speaking confidently with a smooth delivery to an appreciative audience.
Hear the words coming out of your mouth in a flowing cadence. See yourself with
an erect posture, breathing free and easy. By visualizing this way, you are
programming your mind and body for the results you want.
3. Prepare Positively
Stop worrying about yourself and get excited about your subject! You have
something important to say and others want to hear about it. If you can, pick a
subject you enjoy. Speak on topics you know well. Even if you are delivering
dreary statistics about last year's crop failure, put something of yourself into
your speech. Include an anecdote, or a quotation. Bring in the human interest
perspective. Practice and preparation are easier if your subject matter is
important and/or enjoyable to you. If you think your material is interesting and
meaningful, your audience will catch your enthusiasm and appreciate your
sincerity.
4. Love your listeners
Once, just before I was about to speak to classroom of 70 students, a
colleague asked me, "How can you be so confident will all those people
judging you and finding fault with you?" Now there is a defeatist
presupposition, if I ever heard one! It had never even occurred to me to think
of my students in that way! "I am confident," I answered,
"because I don't think that way. I assume my audiences are friendly. I
assume they are here because they are interested in what I have to say. I love
my audiences and I assume they love me." You get back what you put
out---and nowhere is this adage more true than in public speaking. If you want
your audiences to like you, you have to like them first.
5. Put the past behind you---at
least the ugly parts
Some people have speaking anxiety because of some humiliating incident of
the past---often in childhood. Such events can be highly traumatizing for
children (and not a joyride for adults, either) and can cause life-long,
paralyzing fear. If such an incident is the basis of your fear, visit a
therapist or counselor who specializes in phobias. Phobias are nothing to be
ashamed of. Researchers estimate that 80 percent of the population has at least
one in a lifetime. Contrary to popular belief, many phobias can be cured,
usually in three or four therapy sessions.
Maybe your fear isn't a true phobia,
but still relates to past flops and embarrassments. Remember: All good speakers
started out as not-so-good speakers. They improved because they resolved to do
better the next time.
6. Get some rest and avoid hassles
Plan ahead and get a good night's sleep before your presentation. If you
have trouble falling asleep, drink some warm milk (yes, it does work), and think
some pleasant, relaxing thoughts. It may help to listen to a relaxation tape or
soft music, or do some light reading before going to sleep. If you can, clear
your calendar of stressful events that could interfere with your ability to
concentrate and speak confidently and sincerely. In other words, don't schedule
a job interview, a dentist visit, or a meeting with your ex-spouse's lawyer on
the same day you are going to deliver that all-important speech!
7. Avoid mood-altering substances
Some people mistakenly think that drinking lots of coffee or alcohol,
smoking cigarettes or popping a tranquilizer before speaking will improve their
delivery. They do it to pep up or calm down. Mood-altering substances are an
emotional crutch you don't need. The problem is that you can't regulate the
dosage. You don't know how much is too much. Once it is in your bloodstream,
there is little you can do about it. Your relaxation may turn to sluggishness.
Your pep may turn to jitters. It's best to avoid these substances altogether.
Additionally, eat lightly, or not at
all, one hour before speaking. A full stomach can lower your energy level and
concentration, because your body is busy digesting food. Any nervousness can
make digestion difficult. You don't want a belch or a gurgling stomach
interrupting your speech!
8. Look your best
Take some time with your appearance. Polish your shoes and comb your hair.
Wear attractive, flattering, professional-looking clothing. When you look good,
you feel confident. If you aren't sure what looking good is all about, do what
professional speakers do. Have a few sessions with an image consultant to learn
about the colors and styles that look best on you. Women can get personalized
advice on hair and make-up. A good image consultant can tell you how to look
fantastic without spending a fortune.
9. Remember to breathe
Anxiety tightens the muscles in the chest and throat. With a restricted
airway and without enough oxygen, your voice can come out as a squeak! Deep
breathing, on the other hand, sends oxygen to the lungs and brain and expands
the throat and chest, promoting relaxation. As you approach the platform, take a
deep breath and relax.
10. Focus on friendly faces
While speaking, maintain eye contact with your listeners. Find friendly
faces and focus on them. Smiles and approving nods will give you extra
encouragement.
Final Words…
It's ironic that some people are more afraid of public speaking than of
driving on the highways. Yet, vastly more casualties and fatalities result from
traffic accidents than from public speaking. Fear is a natural survival
mechanism. It can motivate us, or stop us in our tracks. In situations that pose
a threat to life and limb, fear motivates us to be careful. On the other hand,
fear is a problem when it interferes with our goals and achievements. These ten
tips will help you progress toward confidence on the platform. Ultimately we
succeed when we conduct ourselves according to the rewards we want, rather than
the things we fear.
Dr. Judith E. Pearson, Motivational Strategies,
Inc., is a licensed psychotherapist, counselor and coach practicing in
Springfield, Virginia and specializing in Solution-Oriented Counseling,
Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and Hypnotherapy: Her web site is
www.engagethepower.com.